Comfort
by mliess
Summary: An Arizona-Leah friendship fic. Continues where "I bet it stung" left off. I'm a die-hard Calzona fan, so don't hate on me :)
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: I own nothing, all hail to the genius that is Shonda Rhimes!_

_I have no idea how Arizona and Callie will ever find their way back to each other but I'm trusting Shonda to do it. :)_

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Comfort

Arizona's head was spinning. She hadn't really meant to tell the intern that she thought that she was pretty, it had just sort of come out. She gulped down her martini in one sweep. She chanced a glance at Leah who was looking at her glass of wine, an unreadable expression on her face.

"I'm sorry" she finally said, quietly.

"I panicked. I've done everything wrong for as long as I can remember now and I really didn't want to have taken advantage of you while I was drunk. And if it helps, I have a vague memory of you being in my kitchen...?" she gave the intern an apologetic smile.

"That actually helps a lot, come to think of it; I've always made a good impression in the kitchen" Leah joked, smiled at her attending, letting her know that she was off the hook.

They both turned back to the bar, looking straight ahead. Leah bit her lip, carefully choosing her next words.

"So, the offer still stands, you can stay at my place tonight if you want to..."

She knew that Dr. Robbins was a proud woman but she also knew that she'd just been thrown out of her apartment and didn't have many friends to call this late at night, maybe none. She felt sorry for her, but at the same time she admired her. She was the best at what she did, and she had this air about her, and when she smiled she could light up a room. Though Leah herself hadn't been the recipient of any if those smiles, yet, she still felt the effect. It wasn't out of pity she'd asked Dr. Robbins to stay with her; it was out of respect and a bit curiosity. She might have a tiny little crush on the good doctor. But most of all she really thought, based on their interaction last night, however drunk the other woman might have been, that they maybe could be friends? Stranger things had happened, right?

She turned to look at the blonde next to her and the sight broke her heart a little bit. The woman next to her had tears running down her cheeks, and she was desperately trying to hide it.

"Hey..." Leah put her hand gently on top of Arizona's, willing her to face her. "Let's get out of here, ok?"

Arizona nodded, surprising herself in the process. Who was she kidding? She had nowhere else to go. She grabbed her purse, put a few dollars on the bar and got up, following the intern outside. Silently hoping no one noticing them... The last thing she needed was for everyone to think she was screwing an intern.

The taxi ride to Leah's place was quiet. Arizona was surprised that she lived alone, and in a really nice neighborhood.  
Once at her building Leah held the door open for the blonde to walk through.  
"Thanks". Came Arizona's weak reply. The elevator ride up was just as quiet as the taxi ride and Arizona started to regret ever accepting Leah's offer, however nice it was. Leah unlocked the door and let Arizona go first. She hung her jacket up by the door and tentatively stepped into the apartment. It was warm and homey, just what she needed right now. But she felt so lost. She glanced at the door, starting to plot her escape. Then she rolled her eyes at herself, she knew she was being ridiculous. She glanced at the intern who had made herself busy in the kitchen. She didn't know whether to sit down or stay standing. Her leg hurt after her long day and she longed to take it off. But it felt kind of awkward doing so in the company of her intern. But it was also the first person to show her this amount of kindness ever since the news of her infidelity came out. She sat down on the couch, instantly feeling better; but only physical.

"Do you want anything, are you hungry? We can order in or..? I have wine." Leah tried.  
"No, I'm good" Leah saw that the attending was struggling; she also heard it in her voice. She was still fighting the tears that had managed to sneak their way out at Joe's. Leah walked up to Arizona and sat down beside her. She took a chance, for the second time that evening, and placed her hand over the blonde's and squeezed it softly.  
"Hey, it's ok. Just let it out. I'm here".

Arizona looked into her kind face and saw nothing but sincerity there. For the first time in such a long time she felt safe. She knew she had only herself to blame but right at that moment she realized that even before the night with Lauren; she hadn't felt safe. She had been scared all the time. Scared that the nice and happy façade she'd put up would come crumbling down on her; scared that she'd never feel like herself again; scared that she'd spend her life trying to get back to being the person who got on that plane.

But she never came back.

She died out there in the woods.

And most of all; she was scared that once Callie figured that out, she'd leave. Ok, so the way she'd gone about to prevent all that hadn't really worked out, and she'd crashed again. Not like before but right into someone who had seen the new Arizona, and liked her. But she had lost what was most important to her. But as it was she was convinced that she would never be able to hold on to it for much longer. It was a loose-loose situation. And she chosen to survive, even though she knew she'd drown anyway. This all hit her like a brick.  
The tears that Arizona so desperately had tried to hold in suddenly ran freely down her face. She was so tired by now she didn't even try to stop them. Not that she could have if she had tried. She felt Leah put her arms around her, pulling her into her; and she let her.  
This was the first time anyone had touched her since Lauren. No one had hugged her, held her hand. Not that she deserved it but... She realized she was alone. Ever since Teddy had left she hadn't been able to talk to anyone else but Callie. She hadn't had a friend. But now, this woman, this kind and gentle woman, who also was an intern she probably hadn't been too nice to in the past, was holding her, comforting her while she wept. And it felt...better.

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_What do you think? Is it worth continuing? _


	2. Chapter 2

_Thank you for your kind reviews, it really means a lot :) Sorry about this short chapter..._

_/mli_

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Chapter 2

Leah carefully tried to pry her shirt out of the hands of a sound asleep Dr. Robbins. She had cried herself to exhaustion, all the while being held by the intern. Leah had put her arms around the distraught woman's shoulders and held on for dear life, trying to sooth the inconsolable attending. She tried telling her that it would all work out, that it was going to be ok, but nothing seemed to work. The cries eventually ebbed out and then, after a few minutes of stillness, Leah could make out the faintest sound of snoring coming from the woman, now laying halfway into her lap, clutching on to her shirt for dear life.

She thought it was adorable. Terribly sad, but still… adorable. She reflected on her current situation. She was sitting on couch, with a beautiful peads attending in her lap. Come to think of it: _'wasn't yesterday something like this as well?'_

She knew that Dr. Robbins had cheated on her wife, but she sensed that there was more to the story than what she'd heard Dr. Torres throw out there. When she looked at Dr. Robbins it didn't feel like she was reacting to all of this the way someone would, in her situation. Except for what had happened tonight. This is the first time Leah had seen her show any emotion at all. _'It must be really hard, keeping everything so close and locked up inside…_' And from what she head from the gossip mill; Dr. Torres hadn't even allowed Robbins to explain. Which probably wasn't that strange but something about all this just felt… off.

She'd also heard something about Dr. Robbins recovery; one day she was furious and hateful towards her wife for cutting off her leg, then all of a sudden she was fine with it the next day, and she'd even let her wife kiss her on the cheek in public. Also strange. It didn't add up; does it really take one evening to forgive someone for taking away their leg? Isn't forgiveness gradual? You can't just sweep something that big under the rug and hope it will go away. All that resentment bottling up… Well, maybe she was wrong but she promised herself that she would be Dr. Robbins' friend, 'cause she surly looked like she needed one.

Finally free from the soft clutches of the sleeping doctor, Leah grabbed a blanked and draped it over the blonde. Turning off the lights and heading for her own bedroom she turned and cast one final glance at the exhausted mess, snoring away on the couch, and smiled sadly before continuing towards her bed.

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_I'll try to update as soon as possible! :)_


	3. Chapter 3

Arizona stirred and forced her eyes open. She squinted her eyes, taking in her surroundings. For a second she didn't know where she was but the it all came rushing back to her. Callie throwing her out of the apartment, following Murphy home...And then...? She remembered breaking down in front of the intern but after that. ..nothing. Did she fall asleep? 'Oh god, tell me I didn't fall asleep on the poor woman last night. I'm really starting to make a great impression on her... She have been nothing but kind to me, and this is how I repay her. I hope I can make it up to her somehow. '

She turned from her side to lay on her back and stared up at the ceiling, sighing deeply she contemplated her situation. It had been weeks since the storm, months even and still she had not gotten one opportunity to explain anything to Callie and it was tearing her apart. Her wife was stonewalling her, but she had no problems going around the hospital telling everyone else their business. And Arizona understood. She really did. She wasn't proud of what she'd done. She regretted ever meeting Lauren but... On the other hand she couldn't. The other doctor had brought out something in her that she thought she'd lost, it was buried so deep within her she hadn't even realized that she was missing it.

She had lost herself long before the plane crash. Thinking back it might have been when she returned from africa. That's the last time she'd felt in control. She absolutely didn't regret coming back or being a parent... But all the compromises, always coming in third place for Callie's attention, for her love... Callie never confided in her, especially when she had Mark. The one time she'd ever thrown him out and chosen her wife over him, it was to have sex... Which had been amazing but that wasn't the point. She'd never thrown him out because she needed Arizona opinion over his. All of this had chipped away on her confidence, she had to make herself less, take less space in her own marriage because all her thoughts and plans simply didn't count as much. She no longer was the woman she was raised to be. She was being swallow by the storm rather than being a good man.

And thinking back, Callie and her had stopped communicating with each other a long time ago. To this day she still didn't know if Callie blamed her for the car accident. She sure as hell knew Mark did so chances were, so did her wife. But she never dared to bring it up and then so much time had passed... It was easier to forget about it.

She knew she was being unfair, she had grown to love Mark but then again, it wasn't his fault her marriage was built on a questionable foundation. It was Callie's and her fault. They had thought their strong love for one another protected them, that it had made it unnecessary to vent, to talk things over and soon it had been to late even if they had wanted to. There was just too much. .. Stuff in the way. Unforgivable things maybe? Arizona didn't know anymore. And now she had cheated on her wife and her wife had made it more than abundantly clear that she was dead to her. What little hope Arizona had felt before the night of the gala was pretty much gone. Still she wished she could just talk to the brunette. Tell her all of this. Tell her that she was sorry. For all the abuse after the plane, but that she had lost her trust in her after that. She didn't want to but that was the truth. She wanted to tell her what had made her sleep with Lauren. She knew this all wouldn't be easy but it was time for them to be brutally honest with each other. They still had a child together and for her sake they had to sort these things out. Even if they didn't find their way back to each other.

They both had grown selfish. She admitted it. She'd lashed out one more than one occasion but so had Callie. Arizona had wanted to buy a house, to get some sense of stability after her accident. She was handicapped now and couldn't even imagine the different troubles she'd run into over the coming years. She didn't want to buy an hospital. It was selfish, she knew that but then nobody saw it from her point of view. Least of all Callie.

She started to wonder if she really wanted to get back together with her wife, even if it was possible. They'd lost so much respect and trust for each other along the way, even if they really did have that magic love Bailey spoke about.

Arizona was so lost in thought she failed to hear or see Leah, who was standing in doorway leading to her bedroom. She cleared her throat to make her presence known.

Arizona snapped out of her inner ramblings and turned her head to see what had caused the sound.

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I just saw the second sneak peek of the next grey's episode, the one with Arizona and Leah. I'm not sure what I think about them as romantically involved. But as I wrote this chapter I realized that even if I want nothing more than Callie and Arizona to find their way back to each other there are many obstacles in their way. And I actually think the writers has skipped over so much of their relationship, there is so much we don't get to see and it had made their relationship hollow, even if Jessica Capshaw and Sara Ramirez are hitting every scene out of the park and making us love them. A big part of my love for calzona comes from reading all these wonderful fanfics bout them. The writers here fill in the blanks, tells us to keep believing in their love. I don't know where I'm going with this but that just occurred to me. My hope is, if Arizona decides to get involved with Leah, it will be a catalyst to Callie and Arizona actually getting their heads out of their a**es and talk this out.

Sorry for this ramble, it's in the middle of the night here. I don't get to see "map of you" for another 20 hours so if you're wonderful enough to review this chapter, don't write any spoilers:-) thanks!

/mli


	4. Chapter 4

_Ok, it's hard to write this as we get new episodes every week, but I've tried to weave the scenes we got from ep 6 into the story. At this point I'm not really sure where I'm going with this. But my aim is still to get Arizona and Callie back together. CALZONA 4-ever! However, I think this detour with Leah is a necessity. The character is actually starting to grow on me, and I hope we get to see some good scenes between the two of them. Also, thanks for all the reviews, you guys are awesome!_

_/mli_

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Chapter 4

Arizona was standing by the nurse's station, reading a chart when Leah walked up to her. Several days had passed since the night Arizona had cried herself to sleep in the other woman's lap.

"Hey!" Leah said enthusiastically and smiled widely at the blonde.

"Hey" Arizona looked up to greet the intern.

"Coffee time, you ready to go?"

"Yes... Let me just sign this and I'm all done" Arizona finished up and smiled, gesturing for the other woman to lead the way.

They hadn't hung out alone since that night, but they had shared lunch at the hospital cafeteria a few times and like today, gone for coffee.

"Do you wanna scrub in on my appendectomy later today? The blonde offered. She really saw potential in the younger woman and had come to respect her.

Leah nodded, smiling from ear to ear. Before she hadn't really paid her much thought, dealing with her leg and crumbling marriage but she was happy that Murphy was her friend now. Arizona couldn't deny that she also liked the attention she was receiving from the intern. The admiring looks, the innocent touches, the praise... Who wouldn't like that? And it didn't hurt that she was easy on the eyes as well. She knew she probably should feel guilty... And she did. But by now she'd lost pretty much all hope that Callie would ever forgive her and she was tired.

Tired of feeling guilty, feeling like a horrible person. That wouldn't help her. So she had decided that she would try to get back to being someone she liked. Even if it wasn't the person she used to be. Maybe she could be better? Who knew?

They reached the coffee cart and soon they were walking outside, sitting down on a bench. Sipping her coffee, Leah suddenly asked "So, I was thinking of cooking a specialty tonight, do you wanna come over and eat? Between the hotel food and what they serve in the cafeteria you could probably use a home cooked meal, right?"

Arizona pondered the offer for a second, not wanting to overstep any lines but then she thought that she'd already done that when she fell asleep on the poor woman next to her.

"Yeah, sure, that'd be nice. You did say you made a great impression on the kitchen. .." Arizona smiled.

"Yeah, well, don't believe everything I say... I was trying to let you off the hook for not remembering me... but if that's how you want to play it..." Leah smirked, challenging the older woman.  
"No, no, it's all good" Arizona put her hands up, showing her a sign of surrendering.

"How about six at my place?"

...

The two women had just shared a wonderful dinner, and they both were sitting on Leah's couch, each with a glass of white wine in their hands.  
"That was amazing, I'm impressed. I couldn't make a salad to save my life" both chuckled at Arizona's admission.  
"Thanks. It's nice to cook for someone for a change; it gets rather dull just cooking for youself all the time."

Leah was starting to feel the effect of the wine and felt more confident than ever. She looked over at the blonde.

"I'm really glad that you came tonight, I like hanging out with you Arizona. " she took a chance and called the attending by her first name, hoping it would be ok since they weren't working right now.

"Me too." Arizona looked up and smiled at Leah. She was happy to be here. For the first time since the storm she'd gone almost a full hour without thinking about how she'd ruined her life. It felt good. She usually had a few panic attacks per day, the realization of what had happened hitting her hard and she'd have to excuse herself and run out into the nearest stairwell. She hadn't told anyone about this and no one had seemed to noticed so she was content. She didn't like to show weakness, she'd been taught that it was dangerous, 'cause then someone could use it against you.

She realized that she'd zoned out there for a second when she heard Leah say her name.  
"Sorry, what?"  
"I asked if you'd like a refill? " Leah looked at her expectedly.  
"Yeah, sure, thanks." Leah grabbed the bottle sitting on the table and poured Arizona's glass almost to the brim.  
Arizona wondered briefly if the younger woman was trying to get her drunk. She didn't have to wonder for very long because after placing the bottle back onto the table, Leah proceeded to move closer to her, now sitting with one leg under her, turning so she was facing Arizona. Their legs now touch and Arizona didn't know whether to be uncomfortable or open to this new situation.

"I need to tell you something Dr. Robbins, oh, I mean Arizona... Can I call you that?" Arizona could tell that Leah was nervous.  
"Yeah, sure…" Arizona looked expectantly at the intern.  
"Ok. .. uuuhmm. ..I wanted to tell you that...I can't stop thinking about you. I think you're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen... and..."

Her rambling was interrupted by a strong hand 'round the back of her neck, pulling her forward, and a pair of lips, crushing into her. Arizona couldn't believe that she'd just done that but now; as they were kissing she just couldn't stop. Hearing those words coming from the younger woman made her feel so good. There was _one_ person in the world that didn't see a cheater when they looked at her. She desperately needed that. And this felt so good.  
Leah put her hand on Arizona's arm and started to push forward, and soon she was lying on top of her attending, this without ever breaking the kiss. Arizona felt Leah's hands starting to feel her up, trying to get her hand under her shirt. She softly grabbed her wrist and derailed her plan, not exactly ready to go there yet.

Leah's head was spinning; she couldn't believe that she was lying on top of Arizona Robbins, kissing her. She'd been nervous to say those things but to be rewarded with this was beyond her imagination. She had gotten the subtle hint that the woman beneath her wasn't ready to go further than this and she understood; she could have all the time in the world; the important thing was that they were here now... And that she felt those soft lips against hers, and those strong, bur gentle, hands on her.

* * *

Arizona woke with a start, taking in her surroundings. She was in her hotel room. She put her head down against the pillow again but suddenly she felt a presence behind her. The night before came rushing back to her.

Telling Leah off, but then texting her in the middle of the night, asking her to come over...  
_"Oh my god… I have to put that phone in a safe before going to bed next time... I really do have the worst judgment at night…"_ She carefully turned around and her thoughts were confirmed. Next to her, sleeping, was Leah. She appeared to be naked. _"This is so bad… why did I do this… I was lonely and she's so sweet… and hot. I thought that she was inexperienced but she really showed me, I really don't know what to make of her. She's clingy, but I get where she's coming from. As Alex told me she falls quickly and hard. She's probably met the wrong kind of people who always ended up using her and then tossing her away. Just like I did. Oh god… I really am a bad person. I just have to talk to her and tell her that I can't be in anything serious right now. But I like her, I really do. And what we did last night was pretty amazing…" _

Arizona reached out and tucked a loose strand of hair behind Leah's ear. Her hand lingered on the other woman's cheek, lightly stroking it with her thumb. She looked so peaceful as she slept. Here was this happy, carefree, beautiful woman, throwing herself at her… and why would she say no? Because of Callie? Because they were still married? Yeah, probably both of those reasons. But Callie still wouldn't talk to her. She'd told people at the gala that her wife was dead. Things were so complicated it hurt her brain to think about it. She knew that starting something with Leah would probably be the last nail in the coffin for her marriage, but that thing was full of nails anyway and even if Callie and she would find their way back to each other, it would take nothing short of a miracle. And if that were to happen, she needed to be whole; she needed to find out who she was now if she ever would be of any use to anyone again. Maybe this was her new start?

The woman beside her started to stir and gradually opened her eyes. She saw Arizona looking back at her and gave her a lazy smile.

"Good morning", she stretched out her arms above her and yawned. Arizona thought it was adorable.

"Good morning yourself, did you sleep well?"

"Yeah, and I think it had something to do with what we did to get ourselves that exhausted…" They both chuckled as they remembered. Arizona couldn't help herself as she leaned down to place a sweet kiss on Leah's mouth. The younger woman moaned and they deepened the kiss. Her tongue darted out and Leah granted her entrance. The air suddenly got heavy as the kiss grew frantic. The blonde let her hand stray to the other woman's thigh. It was soft and warm and she began to drag her palm against the skin until she reached her hip…

Suddenly a beeper went off and disrupted them. Both letting out a frustrated grunt and then pulling apart. Arizona looked to see that it was her beeper and she cast an apologetic smile Leah's way. "911, I guess I have to go… do you wanna come with and I'll let you scrub in…?"

Arizona wasn't ready to let the woman go just yet. She was soaking wet between her legs so there was an off-chance that she wasn't using her brain to make decisions at the moment.

Leah happily accepted and soon they were both clothed and on their way.

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_What do you think?_


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